Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
