the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
