Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

My brain says no but my pants say off.

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(530): View more from California

If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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(513): View more from Ohio

You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.

Fav 81 46059 2516
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(808): View more from Hawaii

drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back

Fav 13 4229 1620
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(620): View more from Kansas

Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.

Fav 26 1387 4632
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(904): View more from Florida

I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.

Fav 7 859 332
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(319): View more from Iowa

But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.

Fav 0 47 15
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