I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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