i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
