When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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