If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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