I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
