Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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