Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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