Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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