I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
