my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
