Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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