Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize