we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
