Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
