my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He shit in the fireplace
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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