How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
