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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize