I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
