i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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