how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
