rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
FUCK WHALES
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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