Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
