We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
