I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize