dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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