I can text with my tongue
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
last night I used snow as a chaser
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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