i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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