shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
