there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
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Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
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Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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