He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
