Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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