We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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