So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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