Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
