i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
