Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
