So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
