Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
