They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
did you just send me my own nude
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How naked do you want me to be?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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