On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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