i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
