Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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