I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
