is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
