you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
