there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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