I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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