Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm getting married
To pizza
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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