It's Friday. Sex?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize