Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
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Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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