There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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