wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
