There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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