The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize