I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
