I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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