Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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