You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
