i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
