things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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