what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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