I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
